Finally find out why people aren’t always truthful
If you have been lied to, you know that finding out that the other person wasn’t truthful with you is not a pleasant feeling. But chances are that you yourself have told a lie or two, too. So why do people actually lie about certain things? Find out why people sometimes deceive others with their words.
Why they lie
Health spoke with Robert Feldman, a professor of psychology at University of Massachusetts Amherst who has studied what he calls “verbal deceit”. And he says that “… lying is a very effective social tactic. People don’t expect to be lied to; the expectation is that they’re hearing the truth from others, and so that allows people who are lying to often get away with it.” But that doesn’t explain why everyone lies sometimes. Feldman gave Health and explanation of that too and these are most common reasons why people lie.
1. Awkward…
According to the psychology professor, this comes down to wanting to be liked. If you’re in a situation that feels awkward, you feel self-conscious and so you say things that aren’t completely true to get rid of that feeling of awkwardness. Like when you’re part of a conversation about a topic that you have no knowledge on. You act as if you do to feel less awkward and to improve your chances of being liked. This can transform into wanting to impress others. Feldman explains: “People want others to like them, to admire them, to be impressed by them.”
2. Consequences
If you did something that might have negative consequences, you might lie to avoid those consequences. This is what children do when they’re trying to avoid punishment for doing something they were not supposed to. This also applies to getting something they want; positive consequences. If there is a possible reward in the future, we might lie to get that reward.
3. To get something
If people lie to flatter others or to influence them, it is because they want something from them. According to Feldman, flattery is a very common form of lying. “People lie to get others to do what they want them to do.” This doesn’t mean that every compliment comes from a place of deceit or that every salesperson is always lying. But is is good to be aware of the fact that people lie to get something they want. Whether it is through flattery or exaggeration.
4. To keep the lie going
According to the psychology professor, lies have a so-called snowball effect. “If you lie about something small initially, in order to maintain that lie, you sometimes have to lie in bigger and bigger ways,” he told Health. And that means that you might find yourself in an intricate web of lies in which you don’t even remember what the actual truth was.
Luckily, people don’t lie all the time and not everyone is out to get you. But it might be helpful to know why people lie. Just to be aware of the fact that others might not always be truthful or that you yourself might tell a lie or two for the reasons mentioned above.
Read more: Is your friendship healthy? Know how to spot a toxic friendship
Source: Health | Image: Unsplash, Toa Heftiba