These are ways to help the grieving people around you
It is always hard to lose the people you love. When someone close to you passes on, you have to deal with feelings of grief and the absence of someone who was always there. This can be especially challenging during this time of year. How can you support a person who is grieving?
The different faces of grief
The holidays are linked to happy memories and the people who lost someone this year can be overcome with feelings of sadness. But grief is not expressed the same way by everyone. It is important to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of the other person. People can have good days and bad ones and sometimes, after a whole bunch of good days, a really bad day can sneak up and leave someone paralyzed by their pain. The important thing is to ask them how they are feeling. Don’t assume but be open to their own story and give them all the time they need to heal. Everyone experiences sadness in a different way and it doesn’t help to tell them that they just need a little time and that they’ll ‘get over it’ eventually.
Listen
The most important thing you can do is listen. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say. But usually you don’t have to say anything. Just provide a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. By talking to someone, the person grieving can express the feelings they have. This might make them feel heard and understood, causing feelings of loneliness to disappear. If only for a little while. If they initiate the conversation, let them talk about the person they lost and don’t avoid the subject. If you really don’t know what to say, then it is always best to affirm their feelings. You could say something like: ‘That must be so hard for you.’
Distraction
You could invite the person in question over for dinner or have them spend New Years with you. Be aware that being around a lot of people can also trigger more feelings of sadness. So let them decide whether they want to come over. If they want to spend the days by themselves, then give them a call to allow them to talk about their feelings that way.
Another way to help is to take on some chores for them. If they want you to get groceries for them, that is a good way to help out. Or make dinner for them and bring it over. If they still have kids to take care of, offer to babysit. There are different things you can do to help out and take a little bit of the load of. Just make sure you always include the grieving person in the decision-making.
Memories and traditions
Sharing memories can make you feel closer to the person you lost, so talk about things the deceased used to do. This could be a nice way to reminisce and keep their memory alive. If there are certain traditions that they always used to do together, offer to keep that tradition alive. Maybe cook their favorite dish together or take a trip that reminds you both of the person they lost.
If you feel like the grieving person has been grieving for a really long time, or when it affects their everyday life in a negative way, then you might want to consider professional help. But to start out, these tips could really make a difference in the lives of people who are dealing with loss and grief.
Also read: This is why you like to listen to sad music
Source: Max Vandaag | Image: Unsplash, Külli Kittus